Strangers With Shared Memories

I recently got married.

(I say recent, I got married 5 months ago.)

I could hardly be seen as a marriage expert, but I really have learnt a few things in the short time I've been signing 'Mrs'. 

Marriage Lesson Number 1: 

You May Lose a Friend or Two

"Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people."

It's sad to say but it's true.

Some lose their friends after the wedding and the normality has come back, whilst others lose friends in the months leading up to their 'Big Day'.

Just like some of life's greatest romances, not every friendship is built to last until death do you part. 

It is just a fact of life - someone is always going to let you down.

So don’t be surprised if some of your friends don’t stick around past the wedding day. The limelight on you has gone, so the reflection on them is no longer there.

Also, research has revealed that one third of British brides lose contact with a bridesmaid after their big day.

Unfortunately I have experience here - I am one of those bridesmaids.

 In December 2012, I was a bridesmaid for a girl I had known since I was 5. 

• I was asked 4 months before the wedding day, even though the other bridesmaids were asked the year before. (She asked me at my own engagement party...)
• I couldn't afford to go to her Hen party as the £50 budget nearly tripled last minute. 
• I didn't get to try on my dress until 5 days before, so it was lucky it even fitted me.
•  I offered to do the Bride's hair as a gift, and was then asked to do everyone else's as well (I am a qualified hairdresser but I said no.) 
•  I didn't know what time to meet the bride on the big day to get ready... until midnight the night before.
• I didn't get a choice of meat or vegetarian for the wedding breakfast and was just served what they thought.
• My other half didn't know what hotel to go to for the evening reception or what time. (I didn't know myself until we arrived, but still couldn't message him until about 8pm anyway.)

It was a completely un-organised, middle of the week shambles. But I did it because I was asked to and she was my friend.

Shortly after that, I hardly saw her, due to HER busy schedule. (She didn't work, she just made constant excuses for not meeting me or being 4 hours late...)

I still tried to cling onto the cracks in attempt to fix our clearly failing friendship.

Until I hurt my back badly and was off work around the time she was due to give birth to her 3rd child.

I looked after her 2 other children, free of charge, with a bad back overnight for 3 days...and even though I got a quick thanks via facebook, I didn't feel it was real gratitude. I wasn't allowed to come visit her in hospital with her new addition as she kept telling me I couldn't, yet her other friends were allowed. I still haven't met her youngest Son.

I then receive messages from her that my mum had said horrible things to her. (which has been proven FALSE.)

Well...Fuck that for a laugh. I had enough of being Shit on, so I cut all ties and haven't spoken since. It's sad, I just don't need toxic friends and that amount of negativity in my life. Obviously, I have cut down  on some of the detail or I would be here forever! 

I've also been on the other side of the fence as a newly engaged Lady excited to Marry my soul mate, and found that some of my best friends are in fact crap at friendship.

As I said, I could be here forever listing off all the bad and horrible things these girls said and did. 

It makes me out to be a victim and I'm far from that! I probably wasn't the best friend to them either.

I read an article that said when you are the first in your friendship group to get hitched, the single ladies don't handle it well. 

However if you're the last in your group to get married, your friendships have a better chance of withstanding the transition to married life because your friends have been there and they get what you're going through your first year of marriage.

I really can't say if that is true or not to be honest.

I do think this:
Friendships are a tandem bicycle. 

You both have to put in the effort or you're not going to get anywhere. 

If one of you needs a push, you know you have a decent friend in the back seat supporting you.

But if you expect all the work to be done for you, you may find you're going to be replaced for a more determined person.

Ultimately, you're both going in the same direction, so you should both bring something to offer.

I know who are my 'Ride or Die' friends and I am thankful for them.

Peace out ✌ 

Hailie

STATS 

Current mood: Content
Current position: sat downstairs
Hair: slap-dash bun
Outfit: Cream Baggy Jumper, Skinny Jeans.... Slippers Again.
Final Thought: "Why are some girls Cunts?"


S, S, L, N & H...thank you :)